What do you have to do to be forgiven by God for your sins?

Question:
What do you have to do to be forgiven by God of your sins?

Answer from Mrs. M:
This is a great question and is the start of any person's walk with God. You cannot earn God's forgiveness. You just have to ask. There are a few steps.

1. Admit you are a sinner
2. Believe Jesus Christ, God’s only Son died and rose for you. He took the penalty for your sins
3. Accept Jesus into your heart as Savior

Now I know I made this sound really simple. The action in and of itself is but getting there can be difficult. 1: Admit you are a sinner. All of us are sinners. In Romans 4:23 it says:

“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”

Psalms 14:1-3 states it this way:

“None is righteous, no, not one; no one understands;

no one seeks for God. All have turned aside…no one does good, not even one.”

We are all sinners but we have to acknowledge that we are to God for Him to begin to open our heart.

2: Believe in Jesus Christ, God’s only Son died and rose for you. He took the penalty for your sins. God is Holy. God is also just. This means that he has to judge and punish sin. If Jesus had not come, lived a perfect life as a human, and then died for our sins and taken our penalty onto Himself, we would not be able to be come to God without some sort of sacrifice. And that sacrifice would have to be perfect to atone (substitute) for our sin. We would be judged according to our sins and we are not perfect so we could not atone for them. Jesus literally stands between God and us and has taken the penalty of all of our sins, the past, present and future sins. Therefore, when God looks at a Christian, He sees Jesus, His perfect Son, and is able to pardon the sin and commune with the Christian. He no longer sees our sins once we have accepted Jesus. The Bible says it this way:

Romans 5: 6-11

“For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ Died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person, though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die, but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. For is while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”

3: Accept Jesus in your heart as your Savior. Now perhaps this is what we really want to know. Your thinking, “how do I do this?” If you have taken the first two steps, I would like to congratulate you. Those first two steps are often the hardest. This step is really quite easy. Find someplace that is comfortable for you. You can be with somebody, a friend, teacher, parent or by yourself. It is simply a sincere prayer, out loud. This is what

Romans 10: 9-10 says:

“If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified , and with the mouth one confesses and is saved.”

You do have to say it out loud, you don’t have to shout it but you have to physically and verbally acknowledge God and your sin. If you need an exact script, I will provide one in a minute but let me first say that there is no wrong way to admit you’re a sinner and ask Jesus to be your savior. Any variation, as long as you are sincere, will be sufficient. For those who would like a more solid idea, your prayer could be something like this:

“Dear God, I admit that I am a sinner and that I have sinned against you. I want to be forgiven and acknowledge that I need a savior. I believe that Jesus Christ is your Son, Lord, and that He died on the cross. I believe that through his death and resurrection he has saved me from my sin. I ask that Jesus would come into my heart as my savior and forgive me of my sins. Thank you for your sacrifice Lord and for your grace. Amen”

If that seems to long for you this could work as well:

“God, I admit that I am a sinner. I need a savior. I believe Jesus is your Son, and died for my sins. I accept Jesus into my heart as my savior and Lord. Please forgive me. Amen”

If you do this, sincerely, God will not only forgive you but open and clean your heart. He will give you a new life. I hope that you will seek God and ask Him into your heart.

How do I start reading the Bible?

Question:
I need to read my Bible more, but I don't know where to begin?

Answer from Mrs. M.:
Anywhere! Just kidding ;) But you could start anywhere and be okay. However, if you are seeking learning more about Jesus and His ministry, the Gospel John is a very good place to start. Matthew, Mark and Luke are good as well. If you are looking for some practical advice 1 and 2nd Corinthians, Galatians, Ephesians and Philippians are all good places to start. Pick one and dive in. I would say once you pick your starting point, pray first, and then read any introduction your Bible gives you to the book/chapter that you are reading. Most Bibles have some sort of introduction. This helps you understand, who wrote it and the original intent of the writing. Then, you just need to start reading.

What if I have become jaded?

Question:
I have been a Christian for a long time. I feel that I am losing my interest in the Bible. Why do I feel like God never answers me?

Answer from Mrs. M.:
This is such an important question. I have been a Christian basically my entire life. When you are a christian for a long time you go through valleys and you reach peaks. When you have read the Bible a lot sometimes, your heart starts to harden. This is unfortunately, because of our flesh. When this happens, you need to ask God to renew a passion for his Word. The biggest thing is that because we are humans we have a tendency to only do what we feel like, or what most interests us. I don't mean this in a harsh way just in an honest one. I am the same way. We have to constantly ask god to "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me." Psalm 51:10 Secondly, just because you pray this prayer earnestly does not mean you will immediately feel a difference. God will answer your prayer but the best way to see it happening is to continue reading and studying your Bible daily. This can be ten minutes, thirty minutes, or more but usually it's best not to overdue it. I would say, take a timer a spend 10 minutes on a couple verses of scripture. Pray before you read, read the scripture, spend some thoughts analyzing it, and close in prayer. This is very doable. The reason I am not telling you to take a break is because it is hard to have a renewed passion for the Bible while you are on Facebook talking with your friends.

Here is the best analogy I can think of. If I am a mother and I want my child to grow I will feed him. Now, of course I know you are thinking, "um duh and you don't want him to die." You are exactly right. I don't want him to die either. Now, while I am not yet a mother, I have been a nanny and had times when I really was tired of making food. One child liked something and the other liked something else and there was only enough ingredients for the dish that the 1st child liked. I was tired and didn't feel like cooking, however I did. This doesn't make me an amazing person just a normal one. I had a responsibilty to make sure that the children were taken care of and fed so that they could grow and be healthy. Other times, I really enjoyed cooking and had the kids help me and we had a great time. Here is my point, you can't do or not do this based on what you "feel" like doing. If you want your relationship with God to grow and survive, you will read your Bible. It is quite literally spiritual nourishment for your soul. Sometimes, you will feel elated with some new inspiration God has revealed to you and other times you will be bored and tired of what you are reading. Regardless, you need to read it and pray for God's Spirit to renew your passion daily.

Now to the second part of that question: Why do I feel like God never answers me? I really resonate with this one. I am going to tell you a short personal story to answer it. I was in college and going through a really rough time in my life. I will not go into all the details but I will say that I was consistently praying for answers to my specific prayers. I am not talking about prayers like, "God can you please give me a new car?" If these are the kind of prayers you are talking about going unanswered, I would challenge you to re-evaluate what you are praying for. Part of praying is asking God to make his will your own so that you begin praying for what he wants, your desires start to become his.

Back to my story, I was praying for things that were important and troubling in my life. Side note on this, you don't have to be dying of an incurable disease to have a worthwhile prayer; God knows your heart and how the little things in life can become big. it is not wrong to pray for those things. Okay, done with the sidenote So I was praying. I was becoming very frustrated so I decided to journal my frustrations. Now, this might now seem like a big deal to you but for me it was because I am soooo not a diary person. But I decided I would write my prayer requests down. So I did. After about two months, (I am not saying this is the magic time period for prayers to be answered; God answers prayers in His time which is Not our time) I read the prayer requests I had written down from a broken heart the two months before. As I read the prayers I had written, I began to cry. God had literally resolved each of the issues I had written in ways that had been exactly what I needed when I needed. I was in shock. Not only had God been hearing my quite literally some nights yelling at Him why hadn't he answered me but He HAD answered me and in ways that were infinitely better than what I had been asking. However, it had taken me two months to see this. I challenge anyone who is struggling with prayer to do this and you will be blessed by how God works.

I am not done with this answer because I think it warrants a couple more points. Often times when we feel like our prayers are not being answered what we really mean is that they are not being answered in the way we want. They are not being answered fast enough. God does not work on our time schedule, He works on His and His timing is perfect whereas ours is not. So sometimes we are asking for the right thing at a wrong time. Now when God does not seem to be giving it to us we think He is not answering our prayer. He really is answering our prayer, he is saying "wait, it will happen when it is the right time." Other times we are asking for things that God does not want for us. When we don't get them we think he didn't answer our prayer. He did, he said "No" And finally, sometimes we don't see God's answer to prayer because it is not the answer we are looking for. We are still looking for "our answer" and in doing so we pass right by the answer God has given us. Think about your prayers, Ask God to reveal His answers to you. He will, in His time, and in His way.

One final thing, God is always working for your benefit and His glory. The following verse talks about hope and prayer and God's purpose:

Romans 8: 24-28
"Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? but if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know hat to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit...And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."

Getting Close to God

Question:
How do you get closer to God?

Answer:
This question is a very good one. My answer is how would you get closer with your friend? You would seek her out. Ask her to come with you. Talk with her, do things with her, share with her and ask her to share with you. God will always respond to those who earnestly seek him.

Jeremiah 29:13-14a "You will seek me and find me. When you seek me with all your heart, I will be found by you, declares the lord."

James 4:8 "Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you."

You might be asking, "how do I do this?" You do this by prayer and meditate on the Bible and what you read. I don't mean cross your legs and hum but think hard, analyze, and pray some more about the scripture you read. Psalm 119: 15-16 "I will meditate on your precepts and fix my eyes on your ways. i will delight in your statues, I will not forget your word."

Set aside time for God. Find a place, come alone and devote your attention to learning about and seeking God through prayer and His word.

I have one other thing to add. While God is always with us and never leaves us regardless of what we do, we sometimes feel distant from Him. Usually, when we are not being obedient and/or neglecting to set aside time for God we feel distant from Him. Be honest with yourself, when you are kind of going your own way and doing things you know you shouldn't be doing, don't you find yourself less eager to go to God? You might be ashamed and feel like you don't want to be yelled at, or you just think God will reject you. God will never reject you if you sincerely repent. He will also not yell at you. He is first abounding in grace and love. He is merciful and once you ask for forgiveness He forgets your sin. If this is a pattern you have been in. Don't let your shame or misconceived notion of God's character keep you from him. Reinstate that time with him and ask for forgiveness. He will bless you and flood your heart with his love.

Do you think it is bad to date?

Question:
Do you think it is bad to date?

Answer from Mrs. M.:
No, I do not think it is bad to date but I believe in a different view of dating than I think most teenagers see today. I do not believe in dating "for fun." I know...groan... that this makes everyone mad and you are thinking, "well your just an old adult who doesn't want me to have fun." First, I am not that old. Second, I do want you to have fun. However, dating should be taken seriously and here is why. When you commit yourself to be in a relationship with someone, I don't mean that you are both married I just mean that you are exclusive, you are sharing you thoughts, dreams and feelings with that person. You are essentially opening your heart to them. If you are being physically intimate you are quite literally gluing a part of your heart to them. For more on the physical part read the post on what is too far physically.

Therefore, when you say you are doing this "for fun" you are really splitting your heart up to someone whom, let's face it, you are not planning on marrying. Here is my rule for dating and while it may seem harsh it will save you an enormous amount of heartache. BE PICKY!!!! Do not date someone you would not consider worthy of marrying. Period. Does that seem harsh? let me explain. When you give your heart to someone who is immature, silly, insensitive, and selfish which I am sorry to say is basically most teenage boys, you are setting yourself up for heartbreak. You are essentially giving what is most precious to you to a little infant who does not know how to take care of it. Would you give your IPOD to your 3 yr. old brother. Heck no! And your heart is much more precious than your Ipod. Secondly, why in the world would you want to date anyone who is not worth of marrying? Why waste your time? They are not going to help you, they will just hurt you so what is the point?

I can only think of two things if you are honest with yourself, because you are desperate or because you think they are "really hot." I'm really sorry but "hotness" is simply your lustful flesh wanting to sin. It is not a good reason to date anyone at all. I did just think of another reason. If you want to date because it will make you look cool socially, again this is a bad idea. Your heart is not a social tool. Don't use it as such. Third, if you want to date because you are desperate, think about what it really is you are desperate for. Is it acceptance, acknowledgment of your beauty, attention, love? All these things must first be found in God, who will meet all your needs perfectly and better than any man ever will, before you can have a heart healthy enough to date. You need to find your validation of yourself in God, not in a person.

For more thoughts about dating, read Mrs. P's thoughts shared in this post on physcial relationships and this post about spending time with a guy.

How do we stop the cycle?

Question:

What if I say am I sorry to God (sincerely) -- and say that I won't do it again -- but when the opportunity comes around, I do it again? And that cycle keeps happening!

Answer from Mrs. P:
This question applies to every single person taking a breath of air this very moment! Yes, we are all call in a cycle of repeating sin, even after we sincerely ask for forgiveness from God and determine to not do it again. So if that is true, why bother trying anyways? Because it is the right thing to seek to break destructive cycles and to run from the sin that entangles us. Paul often speaks about such a thing, with his most famous verses found in Romans 7:

¹⁵I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. ¹⁶And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. ¹⁷As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. ¹⁸I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. ¹⁹For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. ²⁰Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. ²¹So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me.

We sin because it is our nature. Scriptures say all have fallen short of the glory of God. There is none righteous, not one. But we are also children of God, when we have put our faith in Jesus as Savior, and in His power we can change. It will require of us the following, however:

1. Acknowledge & Confess
   Admit to yourself and God that you have a problem. Admit that what you are doing is wrong and you no longer want to do it. Look at the whole picture and spell out step by step what you are doing and why you are doing it.
2. Get Accountable
   Find someone who you can privately confess your sin to. Someone that won't go blab to the world, but will commit to praying for you and asking you regularly if you are on the up and up. It must be someone that agrees with you that you are sinning, so they will be passionate to seeing you stop. It should not be the person you are engaging in that sin with, for you are both too weak at this point to help one another.
   
3. Repent
   This means turn completely from what you are do into a new direction, because of Godly sorrow that your sin is hurting you, God, and others.
4. Make a New Path
   It is time to walk in a new direction, away from everything that draws you to the old cycle. Instead of keeping to routine, decide to make a new one. Don't go "there" after school. Don't leave space on the calendar to hang out at such and such a place. Don't leave time to just "check" things out. In other words, fill those usual places with a non-negotiable commitment. Offer tutoring after-school. Volunteer on Friday nights. Break up with so and so. Chose healthy ways to move forward on a new path.
   

Ready to get on a the right cycle? Start right now by making time to confess, repent, and get right with God. Open your Bible or go to Biblegateway.com and read Psalm 51. Make a new habit of reading a Psalm and Proverb every day!

How much time should we spend with a guy? What is a bad boyfriend?

Question:

If we are in a relationship with a guy, how much time should we spend with him? What is considered to be a bad boyfriend?

Answer from Mrs. P.:

These are really wise questions to be considered, so kudos to the gal who wants to know! However, let me offer a disclaimer in that I don't believe it is a good idea to have a boyfriend or spend lots of time with a guy while still in high school. My thoughts on this subject stem from issues of intimacy and a desire to remain pure emotionally and physically until marriage. Yet, that being said, for the benefit of those who already have a boyfriend, or who want guy friendships, it is good to know what to look for and what to stay away from.

Let's start with the bad boyfriend question first, for that is an easy one to find answers about in Scripture. There are a number of places where God describes the character of a man, in the context of being a husband and as well as a follower of Christ. In my opinion, a good boyfriend would be able to fit these descriptions and a bad boyfriend would not. Of course, we are all a work in progress, so they don't need to be perfect, but striving for doing things God's way, the right way.

This passage from Ephesians 5, in the Message translation, is a perfect example of how a good boyfriend should live and how he should treat you:

Ephesians 5

Wake Up from Your Sleep

^1-2Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn't love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that.

^3-4Don't allow love to turn into lust, setting off a downhill slide into sexual promiscuity, filthy practices, or bullying greed. Though some tongues just love the taste of gossip, those who follow Jesus have better uses for language than that. Don't talk dirty or silly. That kind of talk doesn't fit our style. Thanksgiving is our dialect.

⁵You can be sure that using people or religion or things just for what you can get out of them—the usual variations on idolatry—will get you nowhere, and certainly nowhere near the kingdom of Christ, the kingdom of God.

^6-7Don't let yourselves get taken in by religious smooth talk. God gets furious with people who are full of religious sales talk but want nothing to do with him. Don't even hang around people like that.

^8-10You groped your way through that murk once, but no longer. You're out in the open now. The bright light of Christ makes your way plain. So no more stumbling around. Get on with it! The good, the right, the true—these are the actions appropriate for daylight hours. Figure out what will please Christ, and then do it.

^11-16Don't waste your time on useless work, mere busywork, the barren pursuits of darkness. Expose these things for the sham they are. It's a scandal when people waste their lives on things they must do in the darkness where no one will see. Rip the cover off those frauds and see how attractive they look in the light of Christ.

Wake up from your sleep,
Climb out of your coffins;
Christ will show you the light!
So watch your step. Use your head. Make the most of every chance you get. These are desperate times!

¹⁷Don't live carelessly, unthinkingly. Make sure you understand what the Master wants.

^18-20Don't drink too much wine. That cheapens your life. Drink the Spirit of God, huge draughts of him. Sing hymns instead of drinking songs! Sing songs from your heart to Christ. Sing praises over everything, any excuse for a song to God the Father in the name of our Master, Jesus Christ.

Relationships

²¹Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another.

^22-24Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands.

^25-28Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ's love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They're really doing themselves a favor—since they're already "one" in marriage.

^29-33No one abuses his own body, does he? No, he feeds and pampers it. That's how Christ treats us, the church, since we are part of his body. And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become "one flesh." This is a huge mystery, and I don't pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church. And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband.

What does this all mean? You should use the Scriptures above along with these related questions to evaluate the character of a guy and/or boyfriend. Does he...

1. loves Jesus?
2. seeks to do things God's way, according to Scripture?
3. treat others kindly -- including his family, his mother, siblings, little children, animals, friends, strangers?
4. treat me with love and respect, putting his needs aside when possible to consider mine (the same is expected of you, too!)?
5. not give in to temptation or pressure me s_xually?
   
6. not lie, steal, cheat, or sneak around?
7. not curse, drink, smoke, or do drugs?
   

This is a good guy!

But if you answer yes to these questions, does he...

1. bully?
2. curse often?
3. push me to be s_xually immoral?
4. become consumed with fame, money, status?
5. make fun of me and/or others?
   
6. act disrespectfully to me or others?
7. lies steal, sneak around?
8. jump from girl to girl to girl?
   

I would walk away from this relationship, for a guy like this is bad news, until he gets right with God and changes his ways dramatically.

How much time should you spend with your boyfriend, or a guy?
Honestly, in my opinion, as little as possible! Unless you are about to get married, the guy you are with is simply consuming your time and not giving you anything of value in return. That's not to say he is not valuable. Of course he is. He is made in the image of God and hanging out with him in a group setting will teach you a lot and likely bring a smile to your face. However, time alone with a guy is dangerous for two reasons: the temptation to go too far physically and the cost of your friendships.

You should look for times to be in a group, instead of alone with a guy. Your girl friends will be the ones around in years from now, not the guy you like. You need your friends, to laugh with, cry with, have fun with. If you ditch them to spend your free time with a guy, your girl friendships will eventually be hurt because of the lack of time together. In order to bond with friends, time is critical. Don't trade your friendships with girls for a boyfriend. It is a loss that can't be gained back, and in the long run, you'll be sorry. Instead of looking for your needs to be met, especially by a guy, focus your time on being a better friends with guys and girls alike!

What do you think? Does this answer raise more questions? Feel free to ask and to leave your comments below or send an email to extragrace (at) gmail (.) com!